Adore You
by FinchelLivesOn
Summary: Blaine suddenly disappears from McKinnley. Rumors fly, but no one really knows what happened to him. Not until now, anyway. Sick!Blaine, A/U, eventual Klaine. Obviously I don't own the characters or town or anything.
1. Reflection Garden

I was freezing. Puffs of my warm breath were even clouding up my vision. I felt like I needed to walk back to my car to get my jacket, but my dad would be done with his chemotherapy in a little while and I didn't want to leave. I didn't want him to have to wait alone for me. So I shifted on the bench I was sitting on in the hospital's "Reflection Garden" and shoved my hands deeper into my dark blue suede coat pockets. That's when I saw Rachel running out one of the side doors.

Wait. Rachel? What on earth is Rachel doing here?

I was so curious that I stood up and called out her name. She didn't hear me, though. She just kept on running until she stopped in the center of the ridiculously large garden at the fountain. I half walked, half jogged over to her and saw tears streaming down her face.  
I took a minute to really think this through. She's in the cancer ward of the hospital, just like me. I was here for my dad. Why was she here? Was it for herself? Whoever it was that she came here for, the news must be terrible. Should I go ahead and talk to her while she is this upset? Rachel really only let herself cry while singing emotional ballads, while acting, or when something was really hurting her. I walked closer to her and heard her sobs, saw her fall to her knees and fold her hands like she was praying. I decided then that I would talk to her.  
I purposely took loud steps over to her, trying to alert her to the presence of someone else, and placed my hand on her shoulder.  
"Rachel" I said softly.  
She lifted her head and turned at the sound of her name.  
"Kurt." she said and then broke down with a fresh set of tears. I kneeled down next to her and wrapped my arms around her. I just had to ask.  
"Rach, what is it?"  
And then she spoke the words that changed my life forever.  
"It's Blaine."  
Blaine. I hadn't heard his name spoken out loud in a while. He disappeared from school about two months prior to the day in the garden with Rachel. We all speculated to where he had gone. Sam thought he went back to Dalton. Finn said he thought Blaine was a super spy in a top secret mission. Santana thought he went to "old man's clothes" rehab, as she so eloquently worded it. Puck thought Blaine had been arrested. Rachel, being his step sister, offered no answers for all of us in our glee club, the New Directions. People talked about him for a few weeks, rumors circulated, but then people seemed to just lose interest.  
Everyone, except me. I thought about him every single day. It was safe to say that I was madly in love with the boy. I couldn't help myself. He was perfect. His hazel eyes came to life every single time he sang. His voice was soothing and just masculine enough to drive me crazy. He was intelligent and funny and a really close friend of mine. I never told him how I felt though. I was just afraid of rejection, I guess. Only three people knew how I felt about him. Rachel was one of them.  
But now Rachel is here. For Blaine. My mind was having trouble making this connection. I needed confirmation.  
"Blaine?" I whispered.  
"He's been here the whole time," she spoke softly through her tears. She stood up to sit on the edge of the fountain. I did the same. "He got sick. He came here. We thought he was getting better, you know? He had this surgery and everything and we thought things would be okay. But they aren't." She paused before continuing, "Gosh, it feels so good to say all this out loud to a friend. But you can't say anything! Oh my gosh, you have to promise me, Kurt."  
I sat in utter shock. Blaine was sick? He's been here the whole time? I came two times a week with my dad. How had I never seen her or their dads here before? This is where Blaine had come when he disappeared. I've been so close to him the whole time. Maybe that's why I couldn't get him out of my head, especially while I was here for my dad, with nothing to do while I waited but to think about things. He's been so close this whole time. I just can't believe it. I want to see him now. Would he want to see me?  
"Please." Rachel pleaded with me, bringing me back to reality.  
"I won't say anything."  
"You swear on your own dead body?" she urged.  
"I swear it on Patti LuPone's." I replied, offering my pinky to her for a swear, which she returned with a sad smile.  
"What are you doing here, anyway?" She then asked me.  
"Waiting for my dad to finish his chemo." I answered. A look of recognition crossed her face. Everyone in glee club knew that my dad was fighting testicular cancer. I pulled my cell phone from my pocket then, to check the time. He would be coming out in a just a few minutes. I needed to get back to the waiting room now. I stood up. "I have to be going, actually. He'll be done soon and I have to drive him home"  
"I'll go with you." She said, linking her arm in mine. "I don't want to be alone. You shouldn't be alone, either."  
She was right. I hated being alone here. This place desperately scared me with all its sick people and antiseptic smell and humming machines and even its death. But I had to be here, and now, clearly, she did, too.  
"Maybe if we're ever here at the same time again, we can hang out." I said as we walked through the side door she came running out from and moved quietly down the hall.  
"I'd like that." She replied with a smile. We reached the elevator then and she pushed the button for the fourth floor. I wanted to ask her how Blaine really was, what kind of cancer he had, and if there was a way that I could see him. But it just didn't seem like the right time to ask.  
We reached the fourth floor and the elevator doors slid open. We walked into the large waiting area where Rachel finally untangled her arm from mine and we took seats near the nurses station. The two nurses at the desk looked up briefly, but recognizing us both, went right back to work. We just sat in silence for a few minutes. Down one hall, we heard male voices arguing, but they were too far away to try to figure out what they were saying. In front of us, a tired looking mother sat holding a sleeping baby girl with a mop of dark hair. She gave me a sad little smile as our eyes met, which I kindly returned, and she went back to gently rocking her baby. At the nurses station next to us, a beeping began, signaling them that something needed checking in one of the rooms.  
Holy beetle brooch, this place is so depressing.  
Just then, my dad came around the corner, looking tired and a little green, escorted by a perky young nurse.  
"You owe me a sponge bath, Shelly" he teased her in a hoarse voice. I blushed crimson and hid my face in my hands. Rachel just laughed and shook her head.  
"Dad!" I mumbled into my hands.  
My dad laughed as he took in my embarrassment and continued talking to the nurse, "Well, now, I have gone and embarrassed my boy, I think. Maybe another time, Shelly?" The nurse laughed and waved a good bye to us.  
"Oh dear God. Bye Rach." I said as I got up to walk out with my dad, but he stopped me before I could lead him towards the elevator.  
"Do I know you?" he spoke towards Rachel.  
"I go to school with Kurt. I'm Rachel Berry." she replied, still smiling from the exchange she had just witnessed between him and his nurse.  
"That's right. I do know you. You sing with him in the glee club. Did you just come to wait with him?" my dad asked her as he sat down in the chair I had just vacated. I kept standing, watching this conversation happen that I didn't seem to be any part of.  
"Um," Rachel stammered, ""Um... Actually, my step brother is here getting treated."  
"Really? What's he in for?" For maybe the second time in my whole life, I was glad my dad was so nosey. It felt wrong to ask, but I was so curious.  
"Um.." Rachel glanced up at me before answering, "Osteosarcoma."  
I had no idea what kind of cancer that was. But it looked like my dad knew, because he replied, "Really? Well, I'm sorry to hear that." He stood up then and took the arm I offered him. "I'm glad Kurt had a friend here to wait with today, Rachel. I really hope your brother gets better." and with that, he led me towards the elevator. I looked back over my shoulder to wave good bye to Rachel, but she had already gotten up and was heading down a hallway.


	2. The Phone Call

I had a really hard time falling asleep that night. When I did finally doze off, I dreamt of Blaine throwing up the same way my father does after his chemo, of him struggling to make the room stop spinning but unable to find something to cling to, of him looking at me with desperation in his eyes as he began to fall backwards. I ran to him then, but I couldn't reach him in time, and he fell into a black nothingness.  
I woke up then, sweating and terrified. I looked over at my clock. 3:42. I knew for a fact that I wasn't going to be able to fall back asleep anytime soon. So I got out of bed to get some water. I tiptoed downstairs and stopped by my father, who had fallen asleep while reading. I expected this. On chemo days, he never makes it up to his bed to sleep. Instead, he opts for reading downstairs where he can run to the bathroom to get sick or run to the kitchen to get medicine quickly. I moved his open book to the coffee table, covered him with a blanket and kissed his bald head, which I noticed felt a little warmer than usual. Then I headed into the kitchen. I got myself a glass of water and took a long drink. I sat down on one of our barstools and relished in the quiet.  
I thought about the weekend. I was supposed to go see a movie with some of the glee kids that night. But now I felt like I didn't want to. I knew Rachel wouldn't be there. I thought about all the after school stuff she had been missing lately. It all made sense now. She didn't go to the homecoming football game to cheer for Finn. She didn't come to at least half of the after school glee club practices in the auditorium anymore. She even missed the Halloween dance, though the New Directions were singing. It seemed so strange at the time, Rachel passing up a chance to sing in front of an audience. But we had all dismissed it when she said she had a family thing to do. And now I know why.  
And Blaine! Poor, sweet, gorgeous Blaine. He hadn't seen any of his glee friends since he disappeared. I wondered if he had seen any of his friends at all. He must be lonely. Rachel is great, but she can be overwhelming and mildly annoying at times. I rested my head on the cool counter and tried to block the visions of the dream I had from returning. I tried imagining Blaine from before, when he was still at school. I thought of him singing in the choir room. This made me smile.  
I must have drifted off to sleep because the next thing I knew, it was bright outside and my cell phone was ringing upstairs. I hopped off the barstool and ran up the stairs to answer.  
"Kurt" Rachel said after I answered.  
"What's up, Rach?"  
"What are you doing today?" she asked me.  
"I was supposed to go to a movie later." I replied, not really sure if I was going or not. It seemed like a safe answer for either decision, though.  
"Look, Kurt." she began, then started rambling, "Okay, so I don't know how, maybe it was my dad who told him because I had to tell someone that I saw you here and all. I mean, I was just so relieved to be able to finally talk about it, you know? But Blaine knows you know now and said he really wants to talk to you but he doesn't want you to come see him because he's scared, I guess. I don't know. It all seems silly. But something about pity and what not." She got really quiet for half a minute, then continued "So, I guess I'm asking if you would want to come and see him? He says he doesn't want anyone to come, but I think he really does want to talk to you. He's lonely, you know? He could use an old friend after yesterday's crap."  
I hesitated a minute, rubbing my feet together. "Um, I have to make sure my dad is okay if I leave him. I don't think he's feeling that great" I answer honestly, remembering his warm forehead last night, as well as registering the fact that he was still sleeping as I ran past him a few minutes ago.  
"That's right." she recalled, "He had chemo yesterday."  
"Yup" was all I could think of to say.  
"Well, if he's okay and you aren't doing anything else, please think about coming. Visiting hours are really long on Saturdays and he really did say he wanted to talk to you."  
"Have him text me or call me then. He doesn't need to see me to talk to me."  
"I think it would be better if you did see him. If he saw you in person." she replied. "I have to go. Please think about coming!" she said as she hung up. Well, crap. I know I want to see him. My decision was already made before she even hung up.  
I'm going to see Blaine today.  
I woke my dad and made him drink some water. He said he was feeling okay, refused my offer to make him something to eat, and told me that it was fine if I went to see Rachel's sick step brother in the hospital, that he'd be okay without me. He then smiled at me, picked up the book that was left open on the coffee table and started reading again. I went upstairs to shower and get ready to see the boy I was madly in love with.


	3. A Revelation

The drive to the hospital was familiar. My dad and I drove it twice a week now. It used to be three times a week, but my dad has been doing better, so he's been going less often lately. It's weird driving the whole fourty-five minutes to the hospital without him, though. This time, I'm going not to wait for my dad, but to see the guy that I'm secretly in love with. The whole drive just felt weird.  
After I've arrived and parked my car, I called Rachel. She picked up on the first ring.  
"Hey, did you decide?" she asked.  
"Well, I did. I'm kind of already here." I replied sheepishly.  
"That's great! Let me text you though. Bye." she says quickly. I hang up and less than half a minute later, her first text comes in  
_~I'm with him right now. I couldn't really talk. He doesn't know I asked you to come~_  
I text back quickly _~Rachel! Did I drive all this way for nothing?~_  
_~No, he will want to see you. I swear.~_  
_~Are you sure?~_  
_~Yes. Room 411. I'll meet you by the elevators.~_  
_~Ok~_ I text back. I stuff my phone into my back pocket and head into the hospital. It still feels strange being here without my dad. I ride the elevator to the fourth floor of the oncology wing alone and step out to see Rachel waiting for me.  
She wraps me in a gigantic hug. "I'm so happy you're here." she says. I smile and return the hug but don't say anything. I wasn't aware of how nervous I was until now. Truthfully, though, I'm terrified. Just how sick is he? And why didn't I google his cancer last night? Or at least ask my dad about it. I feel so unprepared for this. I start running my fingers along on the hem of my black shirt, a nervous habit I suppose I picked up as a kid.  
Rachel leads me down the same hallway she disappeared in the day before. We stop outside of the door marked 411 and she looks at me.  
"Don't be scared, okay?" she says very seriously. "He is still the same, though he looks different now. I mean, you did this with your dad. You know the side effects of the chemo stuff." I nod. Nausea. Loss of hair and appetite. Fatigue. Weight loss. Pallor. I know the basics. "Just try to think of him like he was before, okay? That's what we do when it gets tough." I nod again. Then she knocks quietly.  
"Come in." Blaine answers hoarsely.  
Wow. Okay. I can do this. I stand next to Rachel as she pokes her head in the door.  
"Up for a visitor?" she asks, then pushes the door open wider for him to be able to see that I'm with her.  
I'm unprepared for how he actually looks. He's only about 10, maybe 15, pounds thinner, but looks so much smaller. He's unmistakably pale and completely bald, which I did expect, but he also lost his eyebrows and I'm pretty sure his eyelashes are gone, because his eyes look so pale and undefined. They also look dark and bruised underneath. He seems shocked to see me, but offers us a small and pathetically sad smile and waves us in.  
We step into the room and I just can't take my eyes off him. He's covered from about the chest down with several thick, heavy quilts. He has tubes and wires running underneath the gown from his chest to a myriad of machines next to his bed. He also has what I remember to be a feeding tube running from his nose across his left cheek and then tucked behind his ear. I finally settle my eyes on his and see that he's staring at me with what I can only define in that moment as extreme embarrassment.  
"So, yeah," he says to me quietly. "I heard Rachel told on me."  
"She did."' I reply just as quietly. Rachel coughed then. I was so busy trying to connect the image of the boy in front of me with the last image I had of Blaine before he disappeared on us that I had forgotten she was even there.  
"I said I was sorry, okay?" Rachel said sourly. "Gosh! Forgive me already!"  
"Nope." Blaine replied, a real smile playing at the corner of his mouth. "I like watching you squirm."  
"Okay then." Rachel said, "I'm going to find our dads and leave you guys to talk." and before anyone could protest, she was gone.  
Both of our eyes lingered on the door for longer than necessary. Finally, Blaine spoke.  
"So..."  
"So.." I replied.  
"You can sit, if you want." I look around the room quickly and see only one chair near his window with a random pair of those arm crutches leaned up against it. I move them and pull the chair by his bed. Once I'm seated, I notice his eyes boring into my face, so much so that I get self conscious.  
"What?" I ask.  
"Nothing." he replies quickly. I watch him as he shifts his weight in his bed and looks down at his quilts. "So what all did Rachel actually tell you?"  
I think back to yesterday. "She didn't tell me that much, actually." I say after a few moments. "I mean, I saw her crying and then she said you were here and that she thought you were getting better but then you weren't or something." I paused another second, seeing his eyes get dark. "Oh, and that you have ostenosarcoma." I add.  
"Osteosarcoma" he corrects me.  
"Yeah, that." I say with a small smile.  
"Do you know what that is?" he asks  
"No." I answer honestly. "I meant to google it, but I wanted to spend some time with my dad before he started feeling yucky."  
"That's right." Blaine said, looking even sadder somehow. "Is your dad okay?"  
"Yeah. I mean, he said he was feeling fine when I left this morning. He said he would call if he needed me."  
"No, I meant with his cancer. Are things getting better?"  
"Oh, yes, definitely. He's only going in for chemo twice a week now."  
"Good." Blaine said. "It's nice to hear that some people do get better. And I'm glad your dad is one of them." He lowers his eyes to his quilts again. I follow his gaze, but see nothing that seems significant.  
"So, what is it?" I ask him.  
"What is what?" he questions me as he finally looks back up.  
"Osteosarcoma."  
"Oh, that." he studies my face as he replies "It's a kind of bone cancer."  
"You have bone cancer?" I ask. The only things I knew about bone cancer came from a boy I had gone to elementary school with, who actually had his leg amputated because of it.  
"Yeah. Well, no. I had bone cancer." he answers, his pale cheeks turning just a slight shade of pink. I must have looked confused because he then added "They already removed the tumor and the rest of me looks clear."  
"Where was the tumor?" I ask as I look him over a little better, looking for bandages or scars now, but seeing nothing. Then again, I could only really see his arms right now.  
"In my right hip and thigh." he answers simply. He looks back down at his quilts again and I start getting this horrible knot in my stomach. We're both silent for about five minutes. He stares at his quilts and I stare at his thin, though beautiful still, face.  
"I knew this boy once, when I was little, who had bone cancer." I say suddenly, trying to bring Blaine's eyes back to my face. "He lost his leg though."  
"Was he ugly after he lost his leg?" Blaine asked, still looking at his quilts. The knot in my stomach tightened as my brain worked through putting this puzzle together. The fact that he said he HAD bone cancer, rather than HAS bone cancer. The crutches that I moved earlier that seemed so out of place. And all those damn quilts covering legs that I couldn't see.  
"I was really young. I didn't think anyone was ugly or pretty or anything like that then." I quietly replied.  
"What about me?" He finally looked up then. "Would I be ugly if I lost my leg?" The sadness on his face, in his eyes, was too much for me. I already knew the answer to the question I was about to ask.  
"Blaine, did you lose your leg?"  
"Yeah." he whispers.  
My eyes immediately fall down to those damn quilts. It wasn't actually noticeable before, but now that I really know what I'm looking for, I can just make out the bump that is his left foot near the end of the bed. But I can't find the other bump where his right foot should have been. I know I must have looked shocked because his face falls and his eyes get red, almost like he's about to cry.  
Just then, a nurse came in. She notices Blaine's red eyes, too, and offers him pain medication while she checks his chart and the bags of medicines that hang by his bed. He politely refuses the meds. The nurse squeezes his hand and goes back to checking his tubes and wires and machines.  
I stand up and walk over to look out the window, trying to give him a little privacy. Truthfully, I needed a minute to compose myself, anyway. This nurse couldn't have come in at a better time. The boy that I was secretly in love with just told me that he lost his leg. And, for some reason, me finding out made him want to cry. I am having so much trouble wrapping my mind around the idea that he doesn't have his leg anymore. I cautiously glance back at his bed and see him looking at me. His nurse says something quietly to him. He nods, keeping his eyes on me, and then she moves his quilts to check a tube and I finally get it. I can't see much because the nurse is standing in the way, but I can see past her enough to see only one knee when I should have seen two. My brain finally comprehends. I look back out the window.  
I see a young man walking around the garden where I found Rachel yesterday. Was it only yesterday? It feels like a lifetime ago. Rachel. Why didn't she tell me this? Why did she want me to come here at all? She knew how I felt about him. How could she not tell me this? I hear the nurse shuffling out, closing the door behind her. But I don't move. I should, I know. I should go sit back down and try to make him feel comfortable about all of this, show him that it's okay. But I can't move. I'm frozen, trapped inside my mind. That young man outside is walking around, unaware of the young man in this room that will never walk around like that again.  
After what feels like an eternity of silence, Blaine speaks in just a whisper. "So... yeah.." he trails off.  
I finally turn and look at him. He didn't bother pulling all the quilts back up. He and I both know now what they were hiding, and since we both know, there's no reason to hide it anymore.  
"Yeah." I repeat back to him as a slip back into the chair, keeping my eyes on his. We just stare at each other for a few minutes, both of our eyes looking sad, tears threatening to spill. Finally, just to break the depressing silence, I clear my throat and ask "Are you okay, now, though?"  
"Yeah," he answers quietly, still holding my gaze. "Well, I still have to do chemo and all that, just to make sure. And yesterday, I sort of fainted and they decided that since I was still getting so, uh, sick, that they would put a feeding tube in." He said, absentmindedly touching the tube from his nose, resting on his cheek. "But the tumor is gone."  
"That's good though, right? That it's gone?" I ask.  
"Yeah." he replies simply.  
A quiet knock on the door finally tears our eyes away from each other. Rachel comes in again and takes in the scene in front of her, the looks on our faces, the thin blanket that covers Blaine now, the almost palpable sadness in the room. She offers up a sad smile. "Maybe I should come back later?"  
"No," I say, standing up and glaring at her. "I should probably get back to my dad soon anyway."  
"Kurt, wait." Blaine says. I tear my glare away from Rachel to look back at Blaine. "Please don't tell anyone that I'm here, okay?" he pleads with me "Please?"  
"I won't." I say, honestly. "I promise." I reach over to give his hand to give gentle, reassuring squeeze, but he surprises me by pulling me down closer and giving me an awkward half hug. "See ya later, Blaine" I say as I leave, the sadness of the room following me out the door.  
"Kurt," I hear Rachel say from behind me, "will you be coming back?" I turn and just stare at her. She picks up on the anger I was trying hard to not show, but still waits for an answer.  
"Why didn't you tell me, Rach?" I finally ask. I didn't need to elaborate any further. She knew what I meant.  
"I couldn't. It wasn't my secret to tell, you know?" she says sadly. "If I could have, I would have. I just couldn't. I mean, I know you care about him. And I know he cares about you." she paused a minute, "I guess I figured you guys could work through the awkwardness. You two were so close. I just thought that if he let you see for yourself, it would all be easier on him."  
I stare at here questioningly. I couldn't figure out what would be easier on him if I saw him. The whole time I was with him just now was awful. I feel bad for him, for what he lost, for what he's suffering. It wasn't pity, exactly, but more like a deep and resounding sadness that he was going through all of this. And the confusion from the way he looked at me. I just needed to get out of here and sort through all of this alone. But I just couldn't understand how it couldn't have been any easier on him if I saw him.  
"I just didn't know what else to do." she continued. "He really just needs a friend right now, but he doesn't want anyone to know. And I knew he missed you. And I know you missed him. I thought it would work out better, you coming here."  
"I don't understand. He wasn't happy to see me." I say to her, leaning against the wall outside his door. "He was sad, Rachel. He seemed really sad the whole time I was in there with him. I feel so dumb and I shouldn't have even come. I'm sure he's in there wishing the exact same thing right now."  
"Wouldn't you be sad, too, if the person you loved the most saw you at one of the lowest points in your life?" she asks so fast that I have trouble catching her words, then watch her as she clasps her hands over her mouth.  
"Wait. What did you say?" I ask her.  
"No. No, no. Nothing." she says, just as quickly.  
"The person he loved most?" she shakes her head, "You just said the person he loved."  
"No, I didn't." she says.  
"Rachel, damn it!" I say as I push myself off the wall and stand up straighter. "Are you saying that Blaine loves me?"  
"I didn't say that!" she said now, but with a smile.  
This can't be happening. The guy that I loved most in the entire world might love me, too. And now he's broken and sick. And I probably just made him feel so small while I was visiting him.  
"So, will you be coming?" Rachel asks again.  
I had no other choice but to nod my head as my mind took off, relishing in the idea of Blaine actually loving me, that maybe, just maybe, he did.

**Review, if you have time! Let me know how you're liking this!**


	4. Awful Tasting Cookies

I had a really hard time thinking clearly the rest of the weekend. I allowed myself a few hours to get lost in a dreamland inside my head, a world where Blaine loved me back. But it was disturbing. Each time he showed up in my head, he had two legs and all of his hair. And I knew, in reality, he didn't anymore. So I tried hard to shove him out of my mind every time he would show up again. I threw myself into an English assignment. I watched a handful of old movies. I baked 12 dozen cookies, though they all tasted awful. By Monday morning, I was getting really good at pushing Blaine from my mind every time he made an appearance.  
As I was pulling books from my locker after lunch, I heard Finn's voice behind me.  
"Where were you Saturday?" he asked.  
I closed my locker and turned around to see him towering over me. He must be at least a half a foot taller than me. It doesn't bother me though, that he's gigantic. Blaine is shorter than the rest of the glee guys, which is how I like my men to be. Blaine. I had to push him out of my mind!  
"What do you mean?" I ask Finn as we start to walk toward the one class we share with each other, English.  
"Duh, we went to the movies." he replied, as if I was the dense one in this conversation. "Neither you or Rachel were there this time. You aren't going to, like, disappear like Rachel does now, right?"  
I just shook my head. I honestly had no idea if I was going to start disappearing like Rachel did, now that I knew Blaine's secret. I knew I wanted to, though.  
"So, Saturday, what are you doing before the winter dance?" he inquires.  
"My dad gets chemo on Fridays, remember? So I'll probably spend the weekend with him."  
"Oh, right. How is he?" Finn asks me at the mention of my dad.  
"He's doing better every day." I answer with a smile as we round the corner to the English room.  
"Awesome!" Finn says as he sits in the seat next to the one I'd pick. "So, he probably won't need you the whole weekend. Maybe you could come to the dance early and help us set up. With Blaine still gone, there just isn't enough muscle anymore to get all the equipment and crap together. And even though you're kind of girly, we could still use your help. No offense, dude."  
"Oh, none taken. I suppose I could help." I responded, then suddenly remembered, "I did promise the girls I'd help with their wardrobe and hair that day, though. So, I'll try to stop by after."  
"Cool man" he replied, offering me a fist bump. Our teacher cleared her throat then, and class began.

**Filler, I know. But I needed to lead up to the next big thing. Plus, nonsense is sometimes incredibly fun. Leave a review, pretty please?**


	5. Hallway of Honesty

Tuesday, after school, my dad was already waiting for me at home to drive up to the hospital. The ride was quiet. All I could think about was running into Rachel or Blaine. What would I say to either of them? A few times my dad tries to start a conversation, but I think he noticed how distracted I was and just let it go.  
I escorted him up to the second floor and waited until a nurse came to take him back for his treatment. Then, I sat down in a chair by a window and pulled out my geometry textbook. I wasn't actually reading it, rather, I was internally debating whether I wanted to visit Blaine or not when I heard Rachel giggle.  
I look up from my book to see her slowly walking down one of the hallways with Blaine. Well Blaine isn't exactly walking. He's using those crutches that rest on his forearms. I can't help but stare down at where his leg should have been as I watch him position the crutches a little in front of him and then swing his left leg ahead of them with every step he takes. He looks a little better today, though. He still has the feeding tube in his nose, but he definitely isn't as pale as he was the last time I saw him. He was in regular clothes, too, a simple white shirt hanging loosely on his chest, though revealing a large mass of something on his chest hidden under the shirt. The black gym shorts he was wearing hang loosely from the side of his missing leg. His eyes don't look nearly as bruised as they did before. I can tell now that he's definitely lost all of his body hair, judging by the smooth skin I'm seeing on his arms and leg now under the white fluorescents.  
And he's smiling, a real smile, at whatever Rachel was giggling at, I can only assume. But his smile fades when he sees me sitting over in the corner, book lowered in my lap, staring at them. I feel my face flush. Awkwardly, I give them a little wave. They turn and slowly head towards me, so I put my textbook back in my bag and head over to shorten the walk for them.  
"Hey Kurt!" Rachel says enthusiastically. "Waiting for your dad?"  
"Yeah." I say as I nod at her, then look directly at Blaine, who is now looking at the tile patterns on the floor. "Hey Blaine." I say quietly.  
He looks up at me and smiles, but not the same smile he was wearing a few minutes ago. He looks a little sad, though I can't figure out why. Just then, words from the last conversation I had with Rachel come rushing back to my mind. "Wouldn't you be sad, too, if the person you loved the most saw you at one of the lowest points in your life?"  
Hmm. Internal eye brow raising here.  
"So, we were just out walking around. Wanna join us?" Rachel asks me. I catch a glimpse of her suggestive smile from the corner of my eye, but I just can't take my eyes off Blaine. Does he love me, too? I can't really tell what he's thinking through the emotionless mask that now covers his face.  
"Sure." I reply, and with that, we start back down the hallway they came from. We're all quiet now, except for the noise of our feet and Blaine's crutches on the ground. We make it all the way down that hallway and turn towards the next hall when he finally speaks.  
"Rachel, could you go find my dad and ask him if he brought that stuff I asked for?" he says.  
"Sure." she replies excitedly, leaning in to kiss him lightly on his cheek. She squeezes my shoulder just before she takes off in the opposite direction. It's just him and me now, walking silently down the hall. After a few minutes, I decide to break the silence.  
"You look so much better today." I say.  
"Really?" he asks with a hint of a smile, "How bad did I look before?"  
"Terrible." I say with a small laugh. "I thought you were going to faint on me at any moment."  
"Really?" he says again, pausing for a minute before he adds "I thought the same thing about you when you saw my leg."  
"It's not that bad, Blaine." I finally respond.  
"You don't have to lie." he replies. "I know what I look like now." He wrinkles his nose and looks over at me. "You even took off right after you saw it for yourself."  
"Stop it." I say as I come to a stop. He stops, too. "You look fine."  
"You still left, though." he counters me, his eyes wide in a questioning manner.  
How on earth will I explain this? I left because I couldn't stand to see him so sad. It was hard trying to reconcile the images I have of the boy who is standing next to me in the hospital with the healthy, happy boy I fell in love with. But I couldn't tell him that. Could I?  
"I left because..." I spit out, unsure of what I'm going to say. "I guess I left because I felt like I was making you feel worse just by being there. I didn't want to make you sad." I meet his eyes and see that he is studying my face, particularly my lips. I tilt my head to the side and look out a window that's behind where we stand.  
"I guess I was sad." he says in almost a whisper. "But I just didn't want to make you feel bad. I'm okay with you knowing now. You were going to figure it out eventually, especially because I know now that you're hanging around here with your dad. I knew you'd see me eventually. I couldn't hide it from you anymore."  
"Why didn't you just tell me you were sick?" I ask him.  
"I couldn't!" he replies "I saw the pity written all over your face. I still can't figure out what you pity more, the bald, sickly chemo guy or the guy who just lost his leg forever. I don't want anyone's pity, especially yours!" he starts to walk away, but I catch his arm to stop him before he even takes a step.  
"Blaine," I say softly, "I don't pity you. I mean... um..." I stammer, searching for the right words, "It's not pity." I confirm, "I mean, I feel bad that you're going through this, yes, but not for the reasons you probably think I do." I finally spit out, lowering my gaze to the ground as I spoke.  
"Then why?" he asks.  
"I don't know." I whisper, before adding louder, "Why do you care so much about what I think about all this, anyway?"  
He looks straight into my eyes then. He holds my gaze so long and intensely that I have the most urgent desire to lean in and kiss him, feeling like he wouldn't pull away. But then he shrugs and nods his head in the direction we were walking before. The moment passes and we start walking again, this time even slower than before. I kept stealing glances at him, wondering exactly what he was thinking while our eyes were locked on each other.  
We come up to a waiting area that I had never been in before and he heads to the chair closest to us. He sits down awkwardly while I try not to watch. Clearly he's avoiding my eyes, too, because he just keeps staring at the ground, the crutches resting in his hands now, the wall behind me, anywhere but me. This goes on for a few minutes before I take a seat next to him and finally pulls his eyes back on mine.  
"I care what you think because I like you, okay?" he says so suddenly that I jump a little. "So much, Kurt. And I already know that Rachel said something to you about it. I was waiting for you to bring it up, but you haven't yet and I just can't stand the awkwardness anymore."  
I'm stunned. I sit there with my mouth hanging open at his confession. Hearing him say it out loud made my brain malfunction, my palms sweat, and my heart swell. I lower my eyes as I start to tug on the hem of my shirt out of nervousness.  
"I like you, too, Blaine." I finally say, bringing my gaze back up to his, where I see a smile spread across his face, making his eyes sparkle. This smile makes him look so much like his old self that I can't but smile, too.  
And of course, as fate would have it, Rachel comes skipping down the hallway, where she stops short when she reaches where we're seated.  
"My dad couldn't find the bag and your dad went to get food. But they want you to come back now. Enough exertion and all that." she said with an annoyingly big grin.  
"I should go back and wait for my dad, anyway." I say as I stand up.  
"No, stay with us." Rachel says quickly. "We can tell the nurses station where you are so your dad can find you when he's done." I look at Blaine to see if he was okay with me sticking around. He smiles.  
"Yeah, you should stay." he says.  
So I do. We head back to his room, listening to Rachel talk about random family things, like how her Aunt Shelby was coming to visit him tomorrow and how some of his cousins sent another handmade card. We stop at Blaine's room, where he goes back in with a smile that leaves my heart fluttering. Rachel and I continue down the hall to the nurses desk, where we leave a message for my father to come find me in room 411. Then she stops me.  
"So?" she questions.  
"You have quite a big mouth, you know." I say with a laugh. She joins in with giggles.  
"I know. Did you two talk it all out?"  
"He told me he likes me. I told him I like him. Then you came up and ruined what was possibly the most romantic moment in my life to date." I teased.  
"Wait, like? You both said like? Really? You guys suck." she exclaimed. "I know you like him more than that.  
"Well," I replied, "He said he likes me 'so much', so I wasn't going to sit there saying 'oh, Blaine, how I love you so' when all he was saying was that he likes me. I would have sounded stupid"  
"That liar!" she mutters, more to herself than to me, but it makes me smile still. I can only assume that Blaine likes me more than he said, just like me. The thought makes me giddy inside. "But you really do still like him then?"  
"Of course. Why wouldn't I?" I ask.  
"Well, I don't know. I mean, he IS different now, you know? I suppose I wouldn't be a good sister if I didn't ask."  
"Oh." is all I say in response.  
"So him being sick, losing his leg and stuff, it doesn't matter to you?" she presses.  
"Um," I don't think it does. I mean, he's still Blaine, right? He will eventually get out of here and back to school, back into the glee club, right? He'll go back to singing and captivating me with his sexy voice and mesmerizing eyes, right? What if he doesn't? Suddenly, I'm scared for him, for his life. What if he gets sicker and never leaves here? I'm contemplating all of this while Rachel stares at me. "No," I finally continue, "I don't think so, anyway."  
We start back towards his room where we don't say much else. When we enter, we see he's gotten back into bed with both of their dads standing at the foot of his bed and a nurse fidgeting with the tube in his nose and a bag of a thick looking liquid. At our arrival, they all turn towards us. His father, who I don't know, beams at us. Rachel's dad, who I actually do know, smiles, too.  
"I don't think we've met before, but I'm Kevin. I'm Blaine's father. And you must be Kurt." he says as he extends a hand towards me. I walk over to him, smiling and shake his outstretched hand. I take mental notice of Blaine's slight blush while his father addresses me by name.  
"I know Kurt." says Rachel's dad LeRoy as he offers me a wave. "I remember when he was a carrot in a spring ballet at the community theater. Remember Rachel? Years ago. You were a flower."  
"I remember Daddy." she says with a laugh. I remembered, too. The nurse smiled at the exchange and then excused herself and left the room.  
"You played a carrot?" Blaine asks with a smile on his face.  
"I did. It was awful. Thanks for reminding me, LeRoy." I say, because I've never addressed her father with anything but his first name. He insisted years ago.  
"I haven't seen you in a while, Kurt. Why did you stop coming over?" LeRoy asked me.  
"He probably couldn't handle the way your home was decorated until I came around and rescued it." Kevin joked. LeRoy just laughed.  
"Yeah, yeah. That's it. A child hating my Indian inspired decor choices." LeRoy retorts.  
"Moving on.." drags Rachel. Blaine just grinning and I'm fairly certain I'm blushing.  
"So, the kids say that you're here with your dad?" Kevin asks me. I nod and he continues, "Are things going okay with him?"  
"Oh, yes." I reply. "He's just doing chemo a couple times a week now, and he's been feeling pretty great, considering. He's hardly noticing any side effects lately. We're very hopeful."  
"See, Blaine, there you go. It will get better. The side effects could disappear soon. That's good to hear, Kurt." LeRoy says.  
"It is." Kevin agrees. "Blaine was having some trouble last week. He was so sick, and he would eat but nothing would stay down. I'm sure you've been there with your dad." I nod in agreement, because I have been there with my dad, as he continues, "He goes and passes out on us last Thursday from the malnutrition, so they decided to stick the feeding tube right up his nose there." he points at Blaine and the tube in his nose, now filled with the thick looking liquid I had seen earlier, "But things are better now and we're hoping for smooth sailing from here." I glance at Blaine again and see the flush of his cheeks.  
"Dad.." Blaine pleads, urging the conversation to end.  
"No, it's okay Blaine." I say, offering him a smile.  
"Awww." Rachel pipes up, "See, Blaine. He gets it. I told you it would all be okay, didn't I?" Blaine nods and offers me a half smile, still blushing.  
"Well. This is sweet. Isn't this sweet, Kevin?" LeRoy asks as he takes his lover's hand.  
"It is, sweet. It's nice. It feels warmer in here somehow." Kevin replies, while LeRoy nods in agreement.  
"You have food, Kevin?" Rachel asks. The three of them meander over to a table in the corner and start messing around with bowls of salad. I'm left standing at the foot of Blaine's bed. I offer him a warm smile, but with the talk of him passing out, seeing the feeding tube, and the thoughts I had while talking to Rachel before we came back returning, I feel as if my smile seems forced. I can only hope he doesn't notice it.  
"Normally, they drag the table over here so I can feel like I'm a part of family dinners still." he explains, "But I guess they're giving us privacy."  
"Not privacy." says Rachel from across the room, "Space."  
"Yeah," I say with a laugh, "Definitely not private." He laughs with me then, a small, nervous laugh. I start fidgeting with my shirt hem again, because I don't know what else to do.  
"So, how are things?" he asks me.  
"Same old stuff, I guess. Here with my dad, school, homework."  
"Don't forget glee and the dance." Rachel offered. I had completely forgotten about the dance. School and glee club just seemed like they were worlds away from where I am now.  
"New Directions performing again?" Blaine asks me. I nod.  
"Don't be modest, Kurt." Rachel continues from the corner. "He set up the entire set list, even helped Mike arrange the background tracks." I look over at her and see LeRoy shushing her with his finger on his lips. I let out a quiet chuckle.  
"Impressive." he says with a nod. "So you're singing, or..." he trails off.  
"Well.." I start, avoiding his eyes, "I'm going to sing, yes."  
"I guess what I meant was," Blaine says in a quieter voice this time, "are you going alone?"  
"Yes." I reply just as quietly.  
"Oh" he said softly, then after a little eye avoidance and general awkwardness, he continued, "I probably would have found a subtle way to get you to go to the dance with me."  
I reach out for his hand while I say nothing in response. I just hold his hand while he studies our fingers as they intertwine. His hands feel cool, seeming smaller now than they were back in the choir room. Those days, I would study every visible inch of him during dance numbers and his various solos. I'd be lying to myself if I said I didn't miss watching him sing and dance, so full of life and excitement. I'd justified my obsessive scrutiny of the way he moved, studying the way he looked, by writing it off as a side effect of my secret infatuation for him. It was weird to think about it, actually. I began to wonder if he had been feeling the same back then.  
A knock on the door had us all turn in time to see my dad come in the room. I quickly dropped Blaine's hand and went to stand beside him. I gave him a small hug as he surveyed the room he just walked into. LeRoy stood up from the table in the corner and approached my dad.  
"Burt." he said in recognition. My dad and LeRoy shook hands as old friends do and then introductions were made all around. My dad eyed Blaine the longest. Possibly because I was sitting on his bed holding his hand when he came in. Maybe because he was so obviously the one suffering from cancer in here. Maybe because my dad noticed that Blaine was missing a leg. I'm not sure. But he greeted everyone warmly enough and then announced that we had to leave. I returned the awkward hugs that were offered by LeRoy and Kevin, gave Rachel a more reassuring squeeze, and then went over to Blaine's bed.  
"Text me, okay?" I asked him. He only nods. I leaned in to hug him, but didn't feel like he returned it that much. I tried to look into his eyes one last time before I left, but couldn't get him to look back at me.

**Enjoying? Leave a review, pretty please! Up next, does someone else discover the big secret? Holy beetle brooch! Stay tuned!**


	6. Finn's Stupid Tantrum

School seemed to drag so slowly that week. Finn followed me around and pestered me about the dance setup, but it only made me feel worse about Blaine. He had texted me a few hours after I had left the hospital, and we went back to texting all week, almost like we used to, a simple hello here and there, lots of jokes, exchanging new favorite songs, and so on. We didn't talk about how we felt about each other and we didn't talk about his cancer. It didn't come up again until Friday, when I ran right smack into Finn, pacing outside the hospital.  
"Kurt." he said, shocked and confused at the sight of me. "What are you doing here?"  
"My dad, Finn," I said as I gestured toward my father, who was standing right next to me. Seriously, sometimes Finn was a little more than dense. "What are you doing here?" I ask.  
"Did you know that Rachel is in there?" he asked as he pointed to the hospital doors. My dad leaned over and whispered "I know where to find you when I'm done" in my ear before he went through the doors Finn was still pointing to.  
"She is?" I asked, trying to sound surprised. I pulled out my phone and texted Rachel quickly, _~Problem, angry Finn here, main door, come~_, and then shoved it back in my pocket. He and I stared at each other for a few minutes, sizing up the entire situation. All of a sudden, it seemed as though he decided I didn't seem surprised at all and exploded on me.  
"You knew!" he exclaimed, "She's cheating on me with some hot young doctor and you knew about it! Now you're texting her to warn her that I know! What's his name? Tell me!"  
"Wait, what?" I shout back at him. Seriously? Rachel cheating on Finn? That seemed so unbelievable. She was wild about him. I bit the inside of my lip to keep from laughing out loud at the idea.  
"She's in there. I know she is." he starts pacing again while still ranting, "I followed her here after school. I watched her go in. She's here cheating on me in there."  
"Finn," I said softly, just hoping to calm him down, "Stop it. Rachel isn't cheating on you."  
"Then what the hell is she doing here?"  
"Um.." I stalled as best as I could, "why don't you stand still for a minute and I can tell you." He abruptly stopped his pacing right in front of me, making me jump. He just glared at me expectantly. "Um.." I start again.  
Luckily for me, Rachel chose that exact moment to appear, no coat on, with her phone in hand. She looked sincerely surprised to see Finn outside of the hospital, but kept walking towards us. Finn started shouting again the second she was in earshot.  
"Are you cheating on me?"  
"What?" she exclaimed just as loudly.  
"You are!" he screamed. I wanted to run and hide, but Rachel was going to be protecting Blaine's secret now and I feel obligated to stay and help. My phone buzzed in my pocket. I took it out to find a text from Blaine, _~Rach is on her way. What's going on?~_  
_~She's here now. Finn followed her here. He thinks she's cheating.~_ I text back.  
_~This is my fault. She's been ditching him for me. I feel awful now.~_ he replied.  
_~Don't. He's dumb sometimes. You know this.~_ I sent him.  
_~Is he still saying she's cheating?~  
~Yes. He's super pissed, too.~_  
While I was texting Blaine, they were going at each other with the "no, I'm not" and "yes, you are" part of the fight. He eventually had enough of the back and forth, it seemed, because he then demanded an actual explanation.  
Rachel looked at me for help. I shrugged, because I didn't know what to say either. My phone buzzed again, but I ignored it this time under Finn's glaring eyes. Finally, she spoke up.  
"I'm here for someone, but I can't tell you who." she said quietly.  
"Then I guess it IS someone else you're hooking up with and that is why you won't let me come over anymore and breaking our date nights and missing glee all the time." he ranted.  
"It's not like that, Finn. I swear." she interrupted him, "I really can't tell you. Kurt only found out by accident. Give me just a minute to see what I can do." She starts to text, I assume, Blaine. I take that chance to look at my phone while Finn walks away from us and starts pacing again. _~Tell her to hold on. I'm coming. I'll fix it.~_  
"Don't bother, Rach." I say, breaking the heated silence between us, "He's coming out now." Almost as soon as I had said so, Blaine rounded the corner from the elevators in the hospital. Rachel ran back inside and started talking animatedly to him. Whatever she said, he seemed to ignore, because he kept on coming.  
Finn saw her take off so quickly and started to follow her. I put my hand on his chest to stop him, but I was too late. He caught sight of Blaine then, incredibly bald and pale, using crutches, in his pajamas with one pant leg knotted up next to his remaining thigh. He stopped himself.  
"What the hell?" he muttered under his breath. "What the hell?" he repeated, louder this time. All I could think of to do was shrug and drop my hand from him.  
Finn just stared at Blaine, uncomprehending what he was seeing. I knew the feeling. I had a hard time reconciling the image of Blaine now with the one I knew from before. I could see Finn trying to work through it himself, but he clearly needed some help.  
"She hasn't been cheating on you, Finn." I start slowly, quietly, "She's been coming here for Blaine." Finn tore his gaze from Blaine and looked at me.  
"You knew about this?" he asked, his confused eyes pleading with me.  
"I only found out a week ago." I replied. Blaine and Rachel finally came to a stop in front of me and Finn.  
"And you didn't tell anyone?" he questioned me. He looked so shocked still. My heart seriously went out to the guy. I was still having some issues processing this, and he was even slower on the general thought process than me.  
"I asked him not to." Blaine spoke up quietly, "Do you want to come up to my room? I'll answer whatever questions you have." Finn nodded and we followed Rachel and Blaine back inside.  
At the elevator, I moved beside Rachel and squeezed her hand. I couldn't even begin to imagine how hard that situation was in her, but she just smiled in return. She looked relieved, actually. It dawned on me just then. She had been keeping this secret from everyone, including the one true love of her entire existence. She couldn't tell him where she was going or what she was doing when she disappeared. It actually made sense now, the fights about stupid things they had been having at school, him visibly withdrawing from her. She was keeping this secret and he thought she was cheating on him.  
We rode the elevator in silence up to the fourth floor. Then Blaine and Finn stepped off first and Rachel and I followed. We let them walk in front of us. I watched as Blaine crutched his way back down the hall and felt my heart sink a little. I realized that he would be relying on crutches for the rest of his life, unless he got one of those fake leg. I perked up a little at the idea. There was still a chance that he could feel whole again. Rachel saw me watching him and gave me a sad smile.  
"Whatcha thinking?" she asked me in a whisper.  
"Don't laugh," I whispered back, "but is Blaine going to get, like, a fake leg?" She laughed loudly anyway as she nodded. Blaine and Finn looked back at us then. Blaine rolled his eyes, oblivious to the conversation happening behind him. He turned and gets back to answer more and more of Finn's questions.  
When we finally reached Blaine's room, Finn stops and pulled Rachel aside. They started talking in hushed voices. I looked at Blaine, who was looking at me. We both sort of shrugged and went in to his room. He sat down on his bed and rested his crutches beside him. Then, he patted a spot on the bed for me.  
"Come sit with me." he said. I obliged, sitting down next to him. He turned to face me. "So, how was your week?"  
I smiled. "It was long. I seriously thought Friday was never going to get here."  
"Why did you want Friday to come so quickly?" he asked, smiling.  
"Winter break. Duh." I answered, before I add, "and so I could see you." I began to blush.  
He slid a little closer to me and took my hand in his. I look down at our joined hands and smiled even wider. But underneath our hands, I couldn't help noticing the void where his leg should be. I didn't mean to stare, but he caught me looking and the realization seemed to hit him with the wave of sadness that washed over his face.  
"I should have sat on the other side of you." he said in an incredibly sad voice, "Just tell me now, does it bother you so much that you might stop liking me?"  
My head snapped up. "Blaine," I said, I squeeze his hand in my own, "Don't ask stupid questions."  
He laughs nervously. "Yeah. That was pretty stupid."  
We both looked up as Finn and Rachel came in then, holding hands and smiling.  
"Things all better now?" I ask.  
"Yes, they are. I forgive him for ever thinking that I would be unfaithful to my one and only true love."  
"And I forgive her for lying to me." Finn finishes.  
"For lying by omission, dear." Rachel corrects him as we all giggle.  
"What's this?" Finn asks as he gestures toward Blaine and me holding hands. I faintly blush.  
"Oh. They both actually admitted they like each other." Rachel explains as I blush further and look to Blaine, who's pale cheeks are also starting to turn a slight shade of pink.  
"Finally." he says as he heads over to give Blaine a high five. "Took you long enough, man."  
As I looked around, from Blaine to Finn to Rachel, I thought to myself, maybe this would all turn out okay. Rachel and Finn could work through their issues with the big secret out in the open now. She could talk to Finn now, about this whole situation. Hell, I could even talk to Finn, if I so chose to. I glanced at Blaine and smiled. Maybe Blaine would even allow us to tell the rest of the glee club now. But then again, maybe not.

**Thanks for the sweet reviews! I'm glad this is being received as well as it is. If you don't mind, could leave me another review of this chapter? And be waiting, you never know who will find out next!**


	7. A Fantastic Idea

"Where's your Christmas tree at?" Finn asked, a few days after he'd found out about Blaine, while we were all sitting around Blaine's room.  
"Yeah," Blaine says, looking around, too, like maybe one would magically appear. "I guess I never got one."  
"Only a few days left, man. Gotta get one." Finn said as he took Rachel's hand and pulled her into him. "And christmas music, man. Come on! Where's that?"  
"I have my iPod." I offer as I release Blaine's hand to retrieve the bag I dropped by the door on my way in. I scroll through my playlists until I find my Christmas one. I press play and Miley Cyrus starts singing out Rockin Around the Christmas Tree. Rachel laughs and pushes off Finn to start dancing. I can't help myself. I toss the iPod to Finn and join in. Soon, we've coordinated enough to almost make it appear as if we really had choreographed the whole thing. Finn and Blaine are just laughing along as we dance around like idiots.  
"You guys should do that tomorrow night." Finn says as the song ends and I turn my iPod off. I glance right up at Blaine, who just smiles. The dance is tomorrow night.  
"Maybe." I say simply. I sit back down next to Blaine on his bed. Just then, LeRoy enters the room, carrying a box.  
"Finn?" he questions as he notices the towering teen standing next to his daughter.  
"He followed me here a few days ago, Daddy" Rachel explains, "I had to explain. He thought I was cheating on him."  
"Are we telling all of your glee club now?" LeRoy looks at Blaine this time for an answer.  
"No." Blaine replies flatly.  
"Dude, why not?" Finn asks, "they would understand."  
"I can't." Blaine responds quickly as he shakes his head, "Not yet. I'm not ready yet." he looks between Rachel and me with a pleading in his eyes, asking for help.  
"Yeah," Rachel offers, "Not yet."  
LeRoy just raises his eyebrows and places the box he was carrying at the foot of Blaine's bed. I peek inside its open top and see its filled with notebooks and a laptop.  
"You brought my stuff!" Blaine says excitedly, as he lets go of my hand to pull the box closer to him.  
"Well," LeRoy begins, "I figured that, at the very least, I could do this, since you aren't letting us bring you Christmas presents now. Do you think you may change you mind anytime soon, Blainey?"  
"No, LeRoy." Blaine responds.  
"You don't want presents?" Finn questions, "Dude. Why not?"  
Blaine stares into the box sheepishly. "It doesn't seem right, I guess." Finn and I look at him quizzically, so he continues, "it's dumb, really, but while I've been here, I've met some people going through what I'm going through, and I've got my family coming in and out, but they don't have anyone here with them. No one to bring them presents. I don't want presents because I feel bad that some of them won't be getting anything, you know? I mean, I'm suffering like they are, but who will make them feel better?"  
I raise my eyebrows and look at Rachel, who is nodding in agreement with a sad smile. Then, an idea hits me hard enough that I feel like I had just run into a brick wall.  
"It's noble. That's what it is." LeRoy says as he takes a seat in the chair I had sat in before. I notice that it's been pulled in front of the same window I had been staring out of before.  
We keep talking for a while, mostly about Finn's winter break plans, when my dad knocks on the open door. I stand up from Blaine's bed and head over to my father, who gives me a weak hug. I look up to him and see the greenish hue to his skin, so I say some quick good byes to everyone but Blaine, who I lean down to give a quick kiss on the cheek. Blaine looks at me in surprise, but just smiles and says nothing. Then, I take my dad home.

I text Rachel after I cleaned up from dinner.  
'Hey. I was thinking that we should do something nice for the people Blaine feels bad for. Maybe sing.'  
She replies 'I really like that idea! It would just me you and me singing, maybe Finn if I ask him. Blaine won't.'  
'Nooo! Why not?'  
'He says he isn't inspired now. Now that you're coming around, maybe he will change his mind.'  
'Nice! So he really likes me?'  
'So much. I can't believe you never realized.'  
'I could say the same for me'  
'That's true. So, singing Christmas songs at the hospital?'  
'Maybe. I have another idea, too. It's a little crazy though'  
'Let's hear it.'  
'Maybe we could get little gifts or cards or something for everyone that he wants to. I don't mind spending money.'  
'OMG me neither. Brilliant!'  
'Yeah? We should figure out who he was thinking of.'  
'I'll ask. Do you have a small Christmas tree?'  
'I have a little white tinsel one. Why?'  
'We should decorate Blaine's room. Surprise him. Finn said he would help, will you?'  
'Of course. Just tell me when.'  
'He will be in therapy Tuesday from 2-3. That okay?'  
'I'll be there. What kind of therapy?.'  
'Physical. I'm really glad you know. It's nice having someone to talk to about this stuff. And you understand.'  
'You have Finn now, too.'  
'I do. Mr. Schue knows, too.'  
'He does? For how long?'  
'Since Blaine left. He called Kevin to ask why.'  
'So that's why Mr. Schue let's you disappear.'  
'Yah. Just tell him you'll be with us and you'll be okay to miss, too.'  
'I will. Let's shop this weekend for stuff for those people. Make sure to ask him who.'  
'I will. Gotta go. My dads want to talk.'  
'K. TTYL'


	8. Lord Tubbington, Elves, and Make Up

I'm so exhausted that I sleep until noon on Saturday. When I wake, I find Santana and Brittany sitting on my bed and Mercedes standing by the door.  
"Finally, Sleeping Beauty. Get dressed." Santana commands.  
"We're here to do hair and make up." Mercedes adds, gentler than Santana's bold command. I stare uncomprehendingly. Why are they in their pajamas in my room? Hair and make up for what?  
Brittany gets up and opens my closet. "Where's the elf that lives in your closet, Kurt?"  
Santana rolls her eyes at her girlfriend and turns back to me. "I know we're early, but we just wanted to be sure that we all look phenomenal for the dance."  
Oh my gosh. The dance.  
"Um, there is no elf, Brittany." I say, groggily, as I rub my eyes, "I guess I just forgot about the dance."  
"How could you forget?" Santana asks, "This is what us gays live for, the chance to parade ourselves around while, clearly, looking hotter than everyone else, with our hot same sex arm candy in a very classy way." "I just did. I've been busy," they stare at me, "with my dad, I mean." Mercedes and Santana nod then.  
"Seriously, I could go get Lord Tubbington and he could help find your elf, Kurt." Brittany says, now down on her hands and knees in my closet, "Whenever I can't find my elf, Lord Tubbington always can, if he's not outside chain smoking."  
"Um, thanks Brittany," I say, shaking my head, "But no thanks."  
"Okay then, get your ass out of bed and get dressed." Santana says. I nod and they leave.  
I hear muffled talking rising from downstairs. I quickly select a pair of black faux leather pants with a white button down short sleeved shirt, and throw a black scarf around my neck in a hurry. I rush to brush my teeth and pull out as many facial and hair products as I can. I get out my case of make up that I keep for times like this and set it out on the vanity. Then, I head downstairs.  
I'm greeted by the sight of my father, laughing, as Santana, Brittany, and Mercedes all sit around my living room. My heart warms with seeing my dad enjoying himself, even if it is with my friends. My irritation softened then, and I called the girls back to the stairs, where they follow me up to my room.  
I plug in the curling irons and flat iron that Santana brought and get to work on Brittany's make up. Santana and Mercedes talk about the dance while I line Brittany's eyes with a smokey black shadow. From what I was hearing, it appeared that Sam asked Mercedes to go with him and Santana was giving her tips on how to make out with a boy whose lips were that huge.  
I finish Brittany's make up soon after, and begin to work on her hair. It's easy to do Brittany's hair, since it's so soft and cooperative. She does most of the talking, mostly about Lord Tubbington and what she plans to do about his cocaine addiction. I nod in all the right places, secretly wishing death to her possessed cat.  
After I've finished with Brittany, I call Santana over next, and begin transforming her into the ice queen that she is. She talks mostly to Brittany about the dance, in true Santana fashion, commenting on how lame the decorations will be and how all the little freshman will come looking like they stepped out of a cheesy 80's teen movie. My mind wanders to thoughts of Blaine and how much I miss him. I think about how I want to get this day over with so I could go visit him tomorrow. Santana is easy to make up, since she's naturally so gorgeous. Her hair goes smoothly, too, as I braid and then wrap it high on her head in a simple yet elegant bun,  
I finally start working on Mercedes' make up. Truthfully, I like working with Mercedes best. She's always sweet and never cruel and her comments don't make her seem like she's an overgrown six year old. It's very relaxing. My mind begins to drift, and I start thinking about Blaine again. I wished with all my heart that he could be at the dance with me, knowing that couldn't happen. I outwardly sigh.  
Mercedes noticed and asks, "You okay?" I just nod.  
"Seriously, what's up, boo?"  
"Nothing. I'm just tired I guess." I lie. I feel bad. I don't lie, even little tiny ones.  
But she just shrugs and joins back into the conversation Santana and Brittany were having about Disney princesses that would go lesbian for them. I roll my eyes and can't help laughing. It's a disturbing thought, Snow White sucking face with Santana.  
After Mercedes' hair and make up is finished, I step back to admire my work. All three ladies smile brightly and I nod in approval. We quickly clean up my bathroom and I escort the girls downstairs. My dad flatters each one, saying how they will be the prettiest girls there. After all that awkwardness, I walk the girls out to Mercedes' SUV and bid them farewell, saying I'd see them all later that evening.  
I go back upstairs and check my phone for missed calls and see I had a text from Blaine. I sigh as I read it.  
'I saw the pictures Brittany posted on Facebook from your house. You look like you're having fun." I didn't know Brittany had posted pictures of us. I switch over to Facebook and scroll through my newsfeed until I find the few pictures she posted. One of me braiding Santana's hair, taken from behind with my reflection in the mirror. One of both Brittany and Mercedes posing in front of my full length mirror with giant smiles. One of Mercedes as I powdered her nose. And one final one of me applying mascara to Santana.  
I text Blaine back. 'It was pretty fun. I wish you were going tonight.'  
'Me too. Don't have any fun tonight.' I laugh.  
'I won't.'  
I set my phone on my bed and grudgingly start getting dressed.

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